I did originally say this blog was to keep anyone interested up to date with my ride preparation. Those familiar with my musings so far will quickly agree it’s done nothing of the sort. It’s become a showcase for the ramblings of a deranged person.
But today that must stop for a minute as I do impart some serious news, and it’s not good.
I have suffered more pain in the last couple of days than any of Scotland’s finest slopes will throw at me in a few weeks. Sadly my dad, who originally was to cycle with me, and then was to offer back-up support and general guidance, can now not make it at all.
His health has sadly deteriorated to the point where the excursion isn’t even a lingering possibility, and I know that hurts him as much as it does me.
My initial reaction in the sudden depths of despondency was - don’t want to do the ride now - but I quickly recovered from that little self-centred sulk, and re-focussed. Somehow it’s even more important now.
As for the practicalities of the journey, we are working on some options, but it will happen - definitely.
On a more positive note the training has gone well over the last seven days. I have ridden every day and clocked over 260 miles, including a 113 miler on Good Friday.
Apologies for this somewhat sombre missive, but all being well normal service, from the pen of the deranged person, will resume next time.
Jez
Saturday 23 April 2011
Saturday 16 April 2011
The Lost Weekend
If it had included a piece of exercise that burnt more than 3 calories I could have described it as a low intensity training break. But who am I fooling? It was a five day blank in my carefully planned pre-ride regime. A big FAT zero on the training chart.
And it all sounded like such a good idea - a long weekend trip to the spiritual home of cycling, just as the countdown clock on my LEJOG ride started to tick a bit louder. But when the bike hire failed to materialise at the same time as our fast-drinking, big-eating friends did, the writing was on the wall, and it spelt ‘Fatty drunken loser’.
Not that the weekend was without urgency. Oh no. At one point we had one hell of a scramble to get from our three hour lunch at a fish restaurant on the coast to our table at the local pizzeria on time for early evening meal. And just in case you thought that was on foot or on bike, no it was in a car, windows down, shades on and horn blaring - like you do.
Nor was the weekend totally removed from cycling. On more than one occasion we sat behind a frothy cappuccino and hefty danish while we watched the catwalk cyclists of the town cruise down the beautiful leafy main street...and back again - just in case anyone had missed them the first time around.
We were also in same location to watch them return that evening, this time we were behind a pre-meal bowl of peanuts and foaming Peroni. I gathered quite a bit of useful information from my pavement cafe vantage point I can tell you. I learned new shapes in the art of cycling poise, I saw bikes that looked as though they must have cost more than my house and I realised that never ever would the raggle taggle team strip modelled by Bike Buffoon be acceptable in this land of uber cool.
So the weekend was not quite a total write-off as an important stage in my ride preparations. But it did come close, and only time will tell how beneficial those five days off the bike, litres of vino rosso, gallons of lager and mountains of pasta on a bed of pizza will be, come May 22nd.
Jez
And it all sounded like such a good idea - a long weekend trip to the spiritual home of cycling, just as the countdown clock on my LEJOG ride started to tick a bit louder. But when the bike hire failed to materialise at the same time as our fast-drinking, big-eating friends did, the writing was on the wall, and it spelt ‘Fatty drunken loser’.
Not that the weekend was without urgency. Oh no. At one point we had one hell of a scramble to get from our three hour lunch at a fish restaurant on the coast to our table at the local pizzeria on time for early evening meal. And just in case you thought that was on foot or on bike, no it was in a car, windows down, shades on and horn blaring - like you do.
Nor was the weekend totally removed from cycling. On more than one occasion we sat behind a frothy cappuccino and hefty danish while we watched the catwalk cyclists of the town cruise down the beautiful leafy main street...and back again - just in case anyone had missed them the first time around.
We were also in same location to watch them return that evening, this time we were behind a pre-meal bowl of peanuts and foaming Peroni. I gathered quite a bit of useful information from my pavement cafe vantage point I can tell you. I learned new shapes in the art of cycling poise, I saw bikes that looked as though they must have cost more than my house and I realised that never ever would the raggle taggle team strip modelled by Bike Buffoon be acceptable in this land of uber cool.
So the weekend was not quite a total write-off as an important stage in my ride preparations. But it did come close, and only time will tell how beneficial those five days off the bike, litres of vino rosso, gallons of lager and mountains of pasta on a bed of pizza will be, come May 22nd.
Jez
Saturday 2 April 2011
Sponsorship scoop - you’re not laughing now!
I knew it. I just knew it. I’ve always said the ‘Bike Buffoon’ moniker would, in time, prove to deliver significant promotional and sponsorship benefits.
So today I am very happy to be able to share with you news of what my agent has described to me as “a sponsorship coup to coo over.” And then he added, somewhat mysteriously: “It’s a deal with all the bells and whistles.”
I don’t know if you have heard of Circus Mania but I am told in the world of carnival-type commerce there are few bigger names. In fact a quick glance at the CESSPIT (Circus Equity Stocks and Shares Performance Indicator Tracker will confirm Circus Mania’s standing as the fastest growing joke operation in the UK at this present time.
I fully anticipate other leading names in the field of traditional family entertainment to soon be on the blower, not wanting to miss out on the mobile advertising platform that is the Bike Buffoon. This is the opening of a breakthrough chapter in the story of the Bike Buffoon’s ride to celebrity glory.
But, more of the deal. This is what I get...
• hand-picked staff from ‘Big Top Put-Up’ and ‘Take-Down’ teams to be positioned in Monmouth, Runcorn and Glasgow (south) to greet my arrival in those locations with a co-ordinated ‘chant and point’ routine consisting of ‘You, you, you buffoon, you, you, you buffoon’ (repeat)
• use of comedy ginger wig for post-event photo-shoot
• semi-prominent mention on national circulation Circus Mania flyer, under the heading ‘It’s hilarious, the whole family will be in stitches’
• event listing on CircusMania.com in ‘It’s Hilarious’ section, plus link to carnival charity donation page - www.JustJoking.org
• and...the deal clincher - a sponsored bike (see below) to use for the entire 13 days of my ride. Oversized hooter still to be fitted, but I think you’ll agree - it’s a real bobby dazzler!
Jez
So today I am very happy to be able to share with you news of what my agent has described to me as “a sponsorship coup to coo over.” And then he added, somewhat mysteriously: “It’s a deal with all the bells and whistles.”
I don’t know if you have heard of Circus Mania but I am told in the world of carnival-type commerce there are few bigger names. In fact a quick glance at the CESSPIT (Circus Equity Stocks and Shares Performance Indicator Tracker will confirm Circus Mania’s standing as the fastest growing joke operation in the UK at this present time.
I fully anticipate other leading names in the field of traditional family entertainment to soon be on the blower, not wanting to miss out on the mobile advertising platform that is the Bike Buffoon. This is the opening of a breakthrough chapter in the story of the Bike Buffoon’s ride to celebrity glory.
But, more of the deal. This is what I get...
• hand-picked staff from ‘Big Top Put-Up’ and ‘Take-Down’ teams to be positioned in Monmouth, Runcorn and Glasgow (south) to greet my arrival in those locations with a co-ordinated ‘chant and point’ routine consisting of ‘You, you, you buffoon, you, you, you buffoon’ (repeat)
• use of comedy ginger wig for post-event photo-shoot
• semi-prominent mention on national circulation Circus Mania flyer, under the heading ‘It’s hilarious, the whole family will be in stitches’
• event listing on CircusMania.com in ‘It’s Hilarious’ section, plus link to carnival charity donation page - www.JustJoking.org
• and...the deal clincher - a sponsored bike (see below) to use for the entire 13 days of my ride. Oversized hooter still to be fitted, but I think you’ll agree - it’s a real bobby dazzler!
Jez
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